August 28, 2012

Worth My Attention

Posted in Life Lessons tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 3:03 pm by openendedcomment

In twenty years I have not missed the pleasure of viewing a Republican or Democratic National Convention.  I am a huge, massive fan of politics.  You know how some people prepare for the Superbowl for months and for weeks all they can talk about it who will do what…well, that’s me in the days preceding a State of the Union address.  I love this stuff and every four years I get to enjoy a huge, high-stakes election and all of the wonderful speeches and ads and lobbying and mud-slinging  and the debates, Oh! the debates!  I get my legal pad out and my glasses on and sit in my big leather chair while flowing the entire evening’s arguments.  Did I mention that I am also a huge, massive geek who was in debate in high school and therefore gets excited to flow chart a presidential debate? Yes, well, let’s just say that my husband found it about as stunning as you likely do at this moment and he made me promise to never, ever do it in front of anyone.  Ever.  Especially after he witnessed me (he was in the room, his fault, he could have left) pointing out when a candidate missed an opportunity on a  responsive comment to nail their opponent as though I were calling a Vikings playoff game where Favre was assaulted by the Saints.  That intense…I get that worked up.  Normally.  Here we are, with the keynote speeches being prepared for tonight and I seriously do not give one shit.  Not even a shard of a shit.  And that, dear readers, is unacceptable.

If someone like me, an admitted political ubur-nerd isn’t even remotely excited about either candidate or the election itself, there is a problem.  I’ve been reading the political Facebook postings, the blogs, scanning the papers both in print and online,  and I’ve seen the signs going up in neighborhoods I pass on a daily basis.  I’ve been doing everything I can to get myself into it…and still, nothing.  I’m into some of the issues…but not the election.  I’ve been upset over some truly inane comments made by the more obviously obtuse candidates on either side of the aisle.  I’ve laughed out loud at the mind-numbingly idiotic choices made by both major parties in candidates.  I’ve even been motivated to donate to a group supporting a ballot item in my state, but none of it has actually excited me the way I am accustomed to being during the pageantry and drama of an election year.

Maybe it’s me.  Maybe I’m just finally over all of the dead horse arguments.  Maybe there’s nothing new to talk/think about.  Maybe I am alone in this.

But if I am not, if there are more like me than unlike me, then both parties have some serious worrying to do.  You see, when someone like me, a voter who always votes no longer gives a crap, when the stakes are so very high and the race so close it is essential to excite and ignite the base of the respective parties as well as to endeavor to sway the more independent voter to your side, you’d better find something to get them (me) fired up about.  I am not swayed,  I am not even leaned much less nudged.  I am not overly pleased with the current administration yet not at all impressed with the candidates I have available as Option B. Actually, I’m kind of creeped out by many of the players in Option B.  

I want a candidate.  A leader.  A hero or at least someone to make me sit up and take notice.  Give me just one new, good idea.  A great one is preferrable.  We, I, the voting public, am not so jaded I cannot be persuaded, nor am I so dumb I cannot see and hear that each argument and issue these fools pontificate on from the back of a train, a blog or a television screen is one I’ve seen and heard ad nauseam for the past decade or two.  Enough already.  Our country is in danger and these fools are doing absolutely nothing of any major consequence.  The party lines must be blurred and better yet obliterated if anything is ever to improve.  If I am ever to care again about what any of these talking heads have to say. 

As of now, I am most interested in watching tonight to see if Christie derails Romney for the Hell of it because I’m pretty sure that he secretly wants to bitch slap him for so royally screwing the party these past several weeks in selecting Ryan.  Romney’s handlers need to get a picture of him in a bathing suit with a beer in hand and leak it to every major news organization.  Immediately.  They can then scream about “Photoshop” and “Blatant character assaults” ,  but the “damage” will have been done.  You know, making him human or least a little relatable.  I mean, drastic times do call for drastic measures and in the eight years this guy’s been running for President he still hasn’t found a way to connect with the American public.  Time to take a lesson from the master, Clinton.  Relate by mistake.  Every time Bill screwed up we just loved him more because it made him more like the guys we already knew and know.   If I were the President’s campaign manager I would cancel the Democratic Convention, donate the funds to lower the National Debt or to Hurricane Issac victims (depends how the week plays out) lock Biden in a hole somewhere with no access to reporters,  suspend any and all current campaign advertising and simply play clips of Akin’s greek-tragedy of an interview on a constant loop right up until election day.  The worst thing the Dems could do right now is allow any gaffes. Money saved, election won.  End of story.  And still…either way it goes, I don’t believe either party has what it takes with the teams assembled to make any difference these next four years.  *sigh*

Someone send me a new convention drinking game.  This bitter and bored politi-geek needs a reason to tune in.


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