November 19, 2012

Drinking Poison.

Posted in Life Lessons tagged , , , at 2:56 pm by openendedcomment

I read a quote not too long ago that read “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” That resonated and still echos in me as a true statement and one I need to take to heart.

I’ve been thinking a great deal about this as of late.  In endeavoring to be a better person as a whole and forgive/let go of anger/move forward I’ve found there are more obstacles than I anticipated. More questions and fewer answers than I’d like. For example, at what point is it actually dumb to just let it go? When does it become a masochistic act to allow pain to continue? Is it really possible to forgive and forget or is it better to forgive and remember? And what about when you want to forgive but the forgivee just won’t stop doing the previously unforgivable? How do you forgive as an individual when as a couple (talking about my husband and I) you were wronged?

All of these questions weigh heavy on my heart these days.  In some instances it’s been easy enough to just do the right thing and move on, in others…not so much.  A few of these situations came to a head over the past weekend. I was faced with people I didn’t want to be faced with and put in situations I had no desire to be in.  But there it they and I were. And as I dealt with (or in some cases didn’t deal) with it all I thought again of the poison that all of this negativity is.  And I know it has to end.

There are people and situations I’d like very much to move on from, situations that happened, can’t be undone and I’d rather not have the lingering effects touch my life and the lives of those I love.  I know in order to do this I have to let it go and move forward, but the how to do that eludes me.  I can forgive anything.  I just can’t forget.  I don’t need revenge and I don’t want vengeance.  I just want peace.  Simplicity.

I suppose the only real course of action is to do what I know to be right.  To offer forgiveness to some and to ask for it from others. I suppose it isn’t the right approach, but I’m fairly certain that in some cases these messages won’t be received well and I suppose that’s what has stopped me from doing it sooner.  But maybe that’s the real meaning of the message…to just get rid of the poison.  Literally,  To not over-think the what-ifs of it all, to just do what I can do and to know that where it goes once it leaves me is not my choice to make.

Wish me luck.



  1. Jamie Dalsin said,

    Rather than wishing you luck I will be praying for you and all those involved. I pray that there is healing and forgiveness. I pray that all can move forward in their lives whether that is in reconciling the relationships or going your seperate ways. I pray you find peace and happiness.

  2. I struggle with this a lot. I’m sometimes consumed by things others have done and their inability to “get it.” But it’s so true. Drinking poison and expecting the others to die…just. Not. Worth. It. Good luck to you and wish me luck too!

    • *Much* luck…and patience…and wine…which is sort of the same thing.

      • Wine is, for the most part, a prescription for this exact ailment.

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